KristenSunshine

I am praying to God that he will leave me alone so I can fix things with someone, like I’ve been trying to do ever since I started dating him & things went to shit. I lost a friendship that was VERY important to me, and I messed things up for someone everyone knows I’m better off without. So now I really need to focus on that and work things out with oomf & show him how much I truly care about him :))

Sometimes it takes a minor setback for a major comeback.

Idk why I’m being so pathetic. Idk how the ONE nigga I let in could do what he did to me. Idk why I all of a sudden think it’s okay to trip over a guy. Idk WHY I feel like complete SHIT, when IM the one who didn’t want to be with him anymore. Idk why I feel the exact same way I felt two years ago. & Idk what I did wrong. I feel like somewhere I made a mistake & idk if I can fix it or if I’ll even have a chance to fix it. I hate feeling like there’s unfinished business between us. I just feel so in the wrong & idk why. I know what to do, but it feels like I forgot to close a door all the way & I’m trying to walk away from it. I’m fucking TIRED of feeling like a puss & looking so dumb. God forbid I actually have feelings.

I miss you all the time . Idk why all of a sudden I started to care so much. This is exactly what I wanted & it’s completely what is best for me . So idk why I still feel like there’s something more, or something missing. Idek who you are anymore. I don’t want to. I want to move on & leave you behind, period.

This is SO minuscule lol… but it seriously says a lot. I can tell how many people want and know what’s best for me by how many people liked my relationship status when it went to single… and when it went back to “in a relationship”, hardly anyone liked it. No one likes my pictures with him anymore, I guess cause no one wants to see me with him. But a lot of people like his because they realize I’m prolly the best he’s ever gonna get . So idk what I’ve been doing . Ha

I’ve never had to deal with not feeling good enough, or people expecting too much of me. I just don’t give a damn. I’m more concerned about other things. I’m usually pretty numb to pressure and always have done my own thing. I don’t worry about little shit, and I take full responsibility for anything I let happen to me. Cause in the end, I’m the one who made the decisions that fucked me up.